Sunday, March 25, 2012

It's all a Conspiracy

    I have it all figured out. They thought that they could hide it from me, but I saw through their plan. Everyone is only PRETENDING to believe that it's the end of March, when really, Moscow is stuck in a gigantic time warp in which we are reliving January over and over and over again. Otherwise, it couldn't possibly STILL be snowing. Yet even as I type, the little clumps of snowflakes are tumbling merrily past my window - as they have been all day and periodically ever since...actually, ever since the end of October. Of course, every once in a while the conspirators will clear away the clouds and hang the sun up for a little while, let it melt a little of the snow, get everyone talking about spring, and then WHUMP! They dump a new load of the white stuff out of the sky. Don't ask me who "they" are...my conspiracy theory hasn't advanced that far yet. Maybe in the next blog...

 my crocuses think it is springtime 

 
 However, note the background. Clearly, it is not spring.


 
 not that the snow isn't beautiful (note the individual snowflakes) :)

IN MODERATION!!!

 some sort of blessed spring on the walk to work - people always come to fill jugs of water here
 beautiful birch :)


 This bush seems to be the official bird hang-out spot - they are always here outside my building!

    I feel so sinfully luxuriant - I got to leave dance practice early, and I've already showered and eaten dinner and have a whole three blissfully empty hours stretching ahead of me before bed. But then, I think these last few weeks have merited three hours of dawdling. It's been really hectic here! Teaching is getting busier - I was just assigned two new students, one of whom is a 15-year-old teenage boy with whom I will have a 2 HOUR AND 15-MINUTE CONVERSATION COURSE ONE-ON-ONE. ("Conversation" means that there isn't even a textbook.) I mean, I have four younger brothers, I think I can say that I to some extent understand teenage boys, and there is NO WAY any teenage boy would want to sit and speak a foreign language for two hours and fifteen minutes by himself. That's not even counting the fact that conversation classes don't require students to take a placement class before they start, so I have no idea what his actual level is. It's entirely possible that we will get into class together, and get past the mandatory "Hello, how are you?" "I'm fine, thank you.", and then I will say, "How long have you been studying English?" and he will give me a blank stare and say, "Не понял вопрос," ("I didn't understand the question.") in which case we will be doing a lot of blank staring at each other for the next two hours and fifteen minutes.
     Ok, rant over. Maybe it won't be that bad. I hope. The other fun student is an older businessman named Vladimir, who I just started teaching this past week. He is an extreme beginner; I had to explain the difference between "is" and "are" to him last class. Not that I mind beginners, but he has a reputation for being a difficult student. Not only does he question the purpose of every exercise, he also has a set-up with the school wherein he doesn't have a scheduled lesson time - he can just call any day he wants and the teacher has to scramble together a lesson plan/ refresh her memory on the lesson plan she prepared a long time ago anticipating his arrival, and be ready to drop everything to teach him at any moment when she is not in a another class. However, so far it hasn't been too bad, in part because I have a plot to hide my limited Russian skills entirely. In other words, "Ya ne govoryu po-russkiy." (I don't speak Russian.) I think this will be to my advantage, because then he will have a lot harder time challenging my exercises or trying to give me condescending little compliments because a) he doesn't have the vocab in English and b) I don't understand him when he speaks Russian. Actually, I get a devious pleasure out of it - and I have even set it up with the administrators so that they won't speak Russian to me anytime Vladimir is in the building, and they won't let on that I speak it. In the last class, he was trying to compliment me on how I had such good handwriting, and how that really speaks for a person's character. But I could tell from the way he said it that he wasn't really complimenting me so much as just trying to get on my good side and smooth the way for himself. So it was great fun to look at him with a half-pained, half-smiling "I'm sorry, but I just don't understand you" face, and then continue the exercise. Maybe I shouldn't get so much devilish amusement out of it, but I can't help myself.

 
more snow
  sunshine!!

   Outside of the school, dance is pretty much the only other thing I'm managing to do at the moment. Right now it's a bit exhausting - some nights I'm so tired it's all I can do to drag myself onto the metro to get there, and yet I love dancing. I think it probably doesn't help that right now we are preparing intensively for our show, so we don't normally do a full barre before starting rehearsal, so my stamina is down. And try as I might, I can't seem to find the energy to give myself barre at home, at least not right now. But hopefully after the show, when we've finally escaped the January loop and there isn't so much tension in the air at rehearsals, I can find some energy to get in better shape.




 
more sunshine - on the way to dance
 our dance hall - also a school (we rehearse in the gymnasium)

beautiful snow on the branches on the way to dance

     I'm really excited about our show. I'm not dancing that much, which is actually good because I didn't have a lot of time to learn the choreography and I definitely don't have as much time as I would like to dissect the pieces I do have. Plus, I think trying to figure out all the different costumes and pieces of costumes might be just too much of a tax on my Russian skills - they are being pushed to their max right now remembering names of dances, "vest," "ribbon," "scarf," "safety pin," etc! And it is so wonderful that we will get to perform in the Tchaikovsky Concert Hall. It is the home stage of the Moiseyev Company, so I have seen it on film and didn't even hardly dream that I would ever get to dance there. It's really exciting for me.
     I'm also really excited because I bought tickets to go and see the Bolshoi in June - and I will get to see "Chopiniana," which is a ballet I've danced in twice myself, and one of my favorites - the choreography is lovely, and Chopin's music is so beautiful.
     Well, teaching and dancing - that is about all that I have on my agenda at the moment! Oh, and I've been re-reading Harry Potter in Russian. Normally I wouldn't do something like that when I have Pushkin sitting around my flat, but sometimes it is so nice to be able to read something comfortably, and my level is about at Harry Potter right now - specifically the sixth book - and not higher! I had the ambitious plan of trying to read something else last week, and on a whim I picked up Turgenev while walking out the door to work. But after having to look up twenty words on the first page, I decided that Turgenev is useful for keepng me humble about my language skills, and the best way for him to do that is to just sit on my bookshelf unopened and stare at me. I also took a brief break from Harry Potter to sample my first - and probably my last - Stephen King book. We have a few random English books lying around the school, and that is one of them. I took it home last night when I was too tired to read Russian. Basically, it doesn't even merit disgust. The characters were caricatures rather than real people; he tried to make deep evil sound enticing and alluring, and he showed a lack of understanding of the Catholic faith in particular and Christianity in general. And the worst part is, I don't think he really set out to do any of these things - he just wanted to write a gross vampire story that would sell well. If it were my book I would rip it up into little pieces and throw it away - and I'm an English major! - but it's not, so I won't (probably).

     Well, that's all folks! Except for the fact that my family and I have unanimously decided that skype is no longer sufficient and we are ready to see each other face-to-face. Of course, I'm still enjoying my time here, and I will continue to try to enjoy every minute until I leave, but I'm also really eager to see all my loved ones, family and friends again. I'll be home at the beginning of July! :)

    

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

April Showers Bring May Flowers...what do snow showers in March bring?

     Ah, the joys of procrastination...actually, I've been quite productive this morning - got up and went to the shop and cleaned the kitchen - halfway. Then I got ready to go to work and just found out that my first class has been cancelled, so I have a whole extra hour. Theoretically I should use it to clean the kitchen, but...I'd much rather blog instead.
     MY DAD GOT A JOB!!! That's the biggest and best news of this blog! And hopefully it will be one he will really like. So thanks so much to everyone who was praying. :) :) :) :) :)
     Spring has arrived in Moscow - the birds are singing, the sun is shining, the snow is falling gently...yup, it's still snowing here. And that is an actual sign of spring - in the dead cold of winter, the sky was most often clear/slate grey, with no precipitation whatsoever. But now even the quality of the light has changed...and the temperatures are just a few degrees below zero, so it almost feels like our coldest days in NC. I'm actually glad the snow hasn't started to melt yet - I still haven't had a chance to go sledding! Not to mention that when all that snow does melt Moscow is going to turn into one gigantic mud puddle...it'll be back to washing my pant legs out in the bathtub every day again.

I treated myself to some crocuses - can't wait to see them bloom! :) 
 
     I'm definitely glad spring is coming. It will be so lovely to only have to put on one layer of clothing to go outside! But winter hasn't been as bad as I thought it might be. Even though it was crazy intense cold here, and I can't imagine winter in Siberia, I really loved having so much snow. Granted, it was a bit much for my taste, but I could see living somewhere with a winter that's just a bit milder and really enjoying it.
    But anyway, enough about the weather and on to more important things, like politics! Actually, considering all the furor about politics that's been going on in Moscow this year, I really haven't experienced much of the uproar. Part of the reason is that I live in Mitino, way outside the city centre, but another part is that I really don't want to get involved in the political rallying. It's safer and calmer to stay out of it, and since I can't vote anyway I'd pretty much be just a spectator. And though I can see how it might be interesting - history in the making and so forth - I'm kind of a wimp and would prefer not to see a protest firsthand! Despite my best intentions of staying away, though, I did see the beginning of one of the protests a couple of weeks ago. Lena and I met to go ice skating in the centre - they set up a huge outdoor ice rink on the site of the soccer field at the old Olympics stadium in winter - and we didn't realize that there was a pro-Putin demonstration set to start pretty much right at the gates of the ice rink! So after being sent back and forth through a maze of security gates and past any number of guards, all of whom had different ideas about the best way to get to the ice rink, we finally realized that the rink was simply inaccessible - there were masses of people clustered at the entrances, with flags and balloons and signs, and more people pulling up in big buses with "We're for Putin!" written across the side. So Lena and I hightailed it out of there, and instead we went to a smaller outdoor rink at Park Pobyedi. It was so much fun to ice skate outdoors, with the snow falling! I think I've really turned into an ice skating addict - I'm definitely planning to keep it up when I get home!
     We went ice skating Thursday before last - it was a holiday, Men's Day, or, to use the proper name, "Day of the Defenders of the Fatherland." Most people were sleeping in, so the rink wasn't too crowded. And I didn't even fall down once! (Which is a major improvement over the last time.) That evening, I had the neighbor kids over and we attempted to make chocolate chip cookies - I say attempted, because, even though they turned out fine and Lilya and Timur really liked them, they didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped they would - which is what I get for stealing the recipe off the internet before checking with my mom! Now I've checked, and here is the best chocolate chip cookie recipe in the world: weeeellll, I would've shared the recipe, but the site isn't working. Anyway, if you look up Nestle Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe, you can probably find it.
     That Sunday was probably one of the coolest days I've had since coming to Russia - my dance group was hosting their annual festival/dance competition in honor of their founder, Faina Nikolayevna Hachaturian, who died just last year. It was held at the Central House of Artist-Workers (you really can't beat the U.S.S.R. for names!), which was a neat old Soviet building with a cozy theatre. Apparently, Stalin even attended performances there. Anyway, since we were in charge of organizing, our group had to get there at about 8:30 in the morning to set up for the performers and the judges. The first half of the morning, before the rehearsing and the festival started, was not too enjoyable for me. I really wanted to help, but sometimes my not-so-great command of the Russian language is a real handicap. Whereas the director could just fire a quick sentence at one of the other girls and she would understand immediately, with me she had to speak a bit slower, and if it was a complicated task, she had to sometimes demonstrate to make sure I understood. It's not that anyone else gave me a hard time about it - but I was giving myself a hard time. Of course, I didn't totally lose my sense of humor - probably the 'best' part of the morning was when I was told to organize the programs for the directors. I excused myself for one moment to run to the bathroom, but then I got locked in the stall. I yanked at the lock so hard that when it finally snapped open, my thumb got caught and the latch tore a chunk out of the top of my thumb. It immediately started bleeding generously, and for the next ten minutes it refused to stop. Having a bloody thumb is not conducive to sorting papers. Aaaaaand I didn't know the word for "bandaid" in Russian, so my scheme was basically to ask, "Does anyone have something...?" and hold up my thumb. Then nobody had a bandaid, though I did learn the word for the bandaid in the process, so I had to sit uselessly in the corner for about ten minutes until my thumb finally dried up. It was frustrating but humorous at the same time. And then there was the time when the director sent a bunch of us to bring extra chairs upstairs, and after the main group left she sent me as an afterthought. But I couldn't find anybody else, so after wandering up and down the stairs a couple of times, I finally ran into the other director, who asked me why I was smiling. I told him, "I'm laughing because I have no idea where I'm going!" at which point he gave me directions.

a bad picture of the Central House of Artist-Workers

     However, the rest of the day was wonderful and straightforward - once the dancing started and no one was talking directly to me I could relax! A number of amateur groups - mostly kids but some adults - came to present their pieces. There was the usual range for an amateur competition - a few really good numbers, a large number of mediocre ones, and a few that were painfully bad. But the panel of judges was really unusual, at least for the U.S. - There were three Honored Artists of Russia on the board, AND several current/past soloists with the Moiseyev! Of course, this was like a dream-come-true for me - here were people I'd watched on film for years, and I was getting to see them in person!
     And it gets even better - after the competition ended, the judges adjourned to the room we'd prepared to discuss the results. It was also the room where our group had all of our things, and I got to sit and listen to the judges deliberate! That was so amazing - all of these really smart artists dissecting the dancing they'd just seen and arguing and analyzing. They caught every point I'd noticed and more, and they were really thorough in their going-over. It was so exciting to hear how they thought and how they took apart each piece, from costumes to choreography.
    But the most amazing part happened next. Usually, in the States, at an amateur dance competition, the dancers dance, the judges adjourn to discuss, and then they award the prizes, with maybe a few comments, usually praise, directed at the performers. But at this competition, after they discussed the results, the judges sat for two hours with the teachers and choreographers of the pieces and discussed each one with them. AND I GOT TO HEAR THAT TOO! It was absolutely fascinating - they touched on everything, from noting that a student in a white costume shouldn't wear black dance underwear, to asking straight out, "What was the point behind that choreography?" And they were honest, dead-honest. If a dance was great, they said so. But if it wasn't, they said that too, and they went into detail as to what was wrong with it. You would hardly EVER see that kind of thing in the States - criticism like that is taboo. But really, we could use it - after all, if you honestly want to improve your art form, then wouldn't you want to hear professionals from your field tell you how you could improve it? I wish we had this tradition in the States - my former dance teacher, also a Russian, was honest like that, and a lot of people gave her a hard time about it. But really, there are things we need to hear.
     Anyway, it was all fascinating - so fascinating that I forgot to eat! I was so eager not to miss anything that I didn't want to leave the theater for the whole day - needless to say, I was exhausted and famished when I got home that night! But it was so cool - and I got the autographs of all the judges, too, which was neat. :)

 so cool!!! :) :) 

     However, the excitement and exhaustion might have helped to get me really sick this past weekend. That, and the change in the weather, and the fact that I teach kids - I'm pretty sure that with all of that working against me, I was doomed. It started on Thursday with a slight sore throat, but by Saturday I was so groggy-headed I couldn't see straight. And I made the mistake Friday night of taking Niquil, when I never take Niquil, so it completely knocked me out and helped turn me into a zombie all the next day. But I skyped with the family a lot (after all, that's when you miss your mommy the most - when you're sick!), and in the end I think it was good that I got sick because it forced me to sleep. I think, even if I hadn't gotten sick, I had hit a wall in terms of exhaustion. But after this weekend, surprisingly, I feel a lot more refreshed - it's made me resolve to get more sleep more often! When you've had rest, it's surprising how you can actually notice things like how beautiful the snow is, or how much your flat needs cleaning, or how cool it is that you can actually give directions on the street now in Russian without having to think about it.
    Speaking of the flat, I really like our new flatmate - her name is Melanie, and she's a French teacher at the Central School. It makes me wish I'd kept up my high school French so I could practice with her! Anyway, she's really sweet, so that's good. And hopefully NO ONE ELSE will leave before time so we won't have any more flatmate changes! Her arrival makes me realize how lucky we are, once again, with our flat - apparently hers was infested with bedbugs!
     Teaching is going well - I've got what I feel like is a good routine with most of my classes, which makes it enjoyable. Though I've got a new student in my upper-intermediate class who's quite an oddball - at least in appearance, she kind of looks like a female Johnny Depp with short bright orange hair - she came to class in a silk top hat last night. She's only in her early twenties, whereas my other three students are middle-aged, so it makes for some interesting chemistry in the classroom, particularly since she likes to cut up just a bit. But she seems nice enough, so I think I can work with her. Thank goodness she didn't come around when I'd first started teaching, though - she might have scared me away from the class!
     Anyway, I've now dawdled away about an hour, so I'd better sign off and actually go to work tomorrow. Tomorrow's a holiday - Women's Day! - which I plan to spend visiting with a friend and dancing. So it ought to be fun.


a funny card a friend of mine sent me - she knew it wasn't my birthday, but we have a Tennyson connection :)
Anyway, I had to share it because I think it's hilarious :)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Life Decisions, Little Cabbages, and Six Reasons I'm Turning into a Russian

     Well, so much for consistent blogging...three weeks is really an unforgivable gap. Sorry to anybody who has been reading regularly - it's kind of hard to read regularly when the blogger fails to write regularly! Also, I want to put a note here about people's blog comments - I do read them, and I do appreciate them, but as of yet I haven't figured out how to post responses - for some reason I can never get the reply box to open!

 Look! Proof positive there is sunshine in Russia in winter!!!

      It's taken me awhile to get in the proper mindset to blog, probably because I've had a lot on my mind recently. When I was ten, twenty seemed like the epitomy of adulthood - I mean, good grief, the Little Mermaid got married at 16, so surely four years after that you would have everything figured out in life! However, much to my dismay, I'm finding that even at the ripe old age of twenty-two I still have only an extremely small amount of anything "figured out." It feels more like the older I get, the less I realize that I actually know. Unfortunately, one of those unknowns is the answer to what I'm going to do with myself next year. My first few months in Russia I was so busy adjusting to everything that I was really too busy to ponder much about the future. And besides, it was still 2011, way too early to think about the second half of 2012 yet. However, time is marching on, and the middle of February is slipping by, and I still don't know what I will be doing in the fall. I'm torn, because part of me really wants to go home - I miss my family so much. But another part of me thinks that one year is not enough time to spend in Russia, and that now that I've found a dance group I really love, it would be foolish to throw that away after only half a year spent dancing there, especially since I doubt an equivalent company could be found back in the States. I know that I'm capable of doing any number of things, but I don't know what I want to do, so I'm rather directionless at the moment. But my antenna's tuned towards Heaven, so I'm sure I'll get an answer sooner or later (preferably sooner!) as to what God has in mind for me.
     On those two notes (God + dance), I want to talk some about the dance group I've joined. It really is funny how God works. All my life He has worked miracles so that I could dance - from inspiring generosity in the heart of the studio owner when dance lessons got too expensive, to giving me a teacher who taught me so much about dance and about how it can bring such joy to others, to making it possible for me to continue dancing through college, to bringing me here to Russia, and, in this huge city with millions of people, introducing me to this small group of dancers who are doing just the kind of dancing I love. When I first came to Moscow, I thought that I had to join a professional ensemble - I had this idea in my mind that I needed to prove myself as a true dancer, and the only way to do that would be to become a member of a professional group. So at first, I was disappointed with myself  when I didn't find a professional group where I seemed to fit. But now I've realized that I'm so glad I became a member of this group instead - where the dancing standards are still high, but the atmosphere is so much friendlier. I don't do very well with backbiting and nasty competitiveness - I can take it alright, but it really bothers me to inflict it on others, and to some extent you have to do that in a lot of professional companies. So I've realized that, for now, I'm exactly where I need to be. (The problem is figuring out where to go from here!)
     And speaking of the dance group, let's talk about little cabbages! (Since I'm sure you're dying to know what I meant by putting that in the title!) In Russian, it's капустник (kaPUSTneek), and although it means "little cabbage," in the theatre world it's also the name for an in-house performance just for the company. It's a really fun day where everyone does silly skits, parodies each other, and does dances just for fun. We had one two weekends ago to celebrate the company's birthday, and it was great! We got there early and decorated the basketball court/studio with balloon arches and ribbons, and a makeshift stage - half the court- with one set of curtains between us and the audience and another set at the back to provide a narrow backstage area behind. Everyone, from the little four-year-olds to the parents did something. Our group did a skit where Ivan is searching for the magical flying ship Возрождение (VozrozhdYENiye) ( the name of the group), and in order to find it he has to collect magical talismans from different fairytale and popular characters. I had bit parts in some of these - one of Aladdin's accompanying dancing girls, a wizard with Harry Potter, and a snowflake in attendance on the Snow Queen - and it was really enjoyable. I wish companies in the States had this tradition, but if they do I don't know about it. I think it's healthy to laugh at yourself once in a while, and I feel like a lot of times in companies it's possible to be too serious about The Worship of the High Art of Dance and to lose perspective. Anyways, it was great fun!
     Besides dancing and teaching, I haven't had time to do much else recently. At the moment I'm in a flurry of choreography-learning, because my dance group has a concert in mid-April, and I've also bought tickets to go the Bolshoi then, both of which I'm REALLY excited about. My flatmate, Tom, got a job in translating, so he has moved back to England. It's good for him; I think it's what he really wanted to do, but it's weird not seeing him around the flat anymore. However, Kristin and I are set to get a new roommate on Saturday - a girl this time - so we'll see how that works out. It almost feels like our apartment is cursed - people never seem to stay for very long!
    On a completely different subject, I think I'm turning into a Russian. Well, not exactly, but I did notice some changes recently that I thought it might be amusing to note.
     1. Ice is no big deal.
      Back in NC, ice is a rare thing. Even the thought of the possibility of ice is a reason to cancel school, and if there is a square foot patch of ice in our driveway everyone does an elaborate dance to avoid it, pointing it out to each other, "Careful, there's ice!" All of this seems extremely amusing to me now, as the philosophy for clearing the paths in the park I walk through every day is to run a tractor with a sweeper at the back through the park once - which serves to clear away a bit of snow, but mostly just to compact it into ice. Therefore, most of the time when I'm walking I'm walking on that same dangerous substance that strikes terror in the hearts of all at home...and I'm not dead yet! I haven't even fallen down but once! This is not to say that I'm ready to run through the snow in high-heeled boots as I've seen a friend of mine do, but who knows what might happen before the ice melts?

    2. -10 Celsius is WARM.
     The funny thing is that, at least for me, after the temperatures drop below freezing the sensation of "cold" doesn't really intensify all that much from -5 to -30. Granted, I bundle up more, but really I feel the low temperatures more through other ways than feeling cold. At -30 the inside of your nose freezes, and your breath frosts the front of your coat, and your fingers and toes go from cool to numb in a matter of seconds if you don't have the proper gear. But -10 is really not bad at all - and after -30, it's positively balmy!

 some sunrise shots walking to work at 9:00



 the ice rink in the park - planning to go skating there sometime! 


 sunset on the same day, walking home from work at 6:00

3. Part of the reason I can be so nonchalant about -10 is that I have a real Russian winter coat!
     It's not true fur, but it's so warm and fuzzy and wonderful. It's not mine, but a very generous friend's. She saw my Closet Coat and decided it wasn't sufficient, and offered to let me borrow an extra coat of hers that is a bit too big for her. It's got fur around the hood and everything - I feel so delightfully Russian when I wear it!


4. I like sushi.
     For the longest time, I haven't been able to stomach even the idea of sushi, but so many people told me how wonderful it was here that I finally got up the guts to try it. I thought, for some reason, that it would taste like dead raw fish smells, but it's actually pretty good! I think to some extent it's an acquired taste, but I wouldn't be against trying it again sometime.

 photographic proof

5. I can understand and speak Russian on the phone when rousted out of bed in the morning.
     A couple of days ago my landlady called me, waking me out of a sound sleep, and not only did I understand what she said, I could actually respond - I have no idea whether the grammar was correct or not, but the man actually did come to fix the sink when I thought he was coming. (Which leads to an amusing anecdote - Tom held a going-away party two weeks ago, on Saturday night. Just before the 10+ partygoers started showing up at the door, our toilet decided that the time had come to refuse to flush. At all. And all of my old house experience was to no avail, since toilets are constructed differently here. However, we made it through the party alright, and made plans to call the landlady first thing the next morning. I woke up extremely early to catch the metro to the dance studio to decorate for the kapustnik, and when I came into the bathroom an unpleasant shushing noise met my ears - the sink was leaking down the back beneath the bowl, and it had created a small puddle on the floor. I couldn't find the valve to shut off the water; I was running late, and it was 6 in the morning, so it was way too early to call the landlady, so I stuffed my towel around the base of the sink, left a note for Tom, and skedaddled. About two hours later he called me, "Um, Hannah, did you know there's a lake in the bathroom?" Apparently the poor boy, when he saw the sink was leaking, decided to turn the water on, and after that the drip became a flood, evidenced by the fact that when I came home the floor was dry but there was a mountain of damp towels, dishrags, and shirts in the bathtub.)

6. I don't read the signs in the metro.
     Most of the time this means that I know where I'm going so I don't need to look anymore. But as one of my Russian friends told me when this happened to the two of us, the true test of becoming a Moskvitchka is when you end up going the wrong way because you are too busy talking to your friend to notice where you're going.

     On that note, I know where I'm going right now - TO BED. Moskvitchkas need their sleep!
    
    
    

Saturday, January 21, 2012

TMM Moscow News Update

     "And now to the weather report. Well, folks, here in Moscow today we've got temperatures around -11 Celsius (about 12.2 Farenheit to all you Farenheiters) with wind and light snow, which are currently working together to freeze the nose off of English teachers throughout the city whenever they try to poke that particular portion of the anatomy out of doors. Therefore, if you are an English teacher, or if you are a concerned family member, it is probably best to make sure that you or your relative stays indoors in bed next to a heater in the interest of facial preservation. However, I'm sure we'll have some foolhardy souls who will feel conscience-driven to fight their way across the park to their place of work; for these people we have a special warning message: If you feel obligated to go to work because you have a makeup class with a plagiarizing teenage boy who is making up his class because he was so late that the last time he missed his class entirely, then it's a better idea just not to bother - he'll miss his class today as well, and once again you will just be sitting in the classroom lesson planning for other lessons for the whole 45 minutes. However, compensation may occur in the form of a chance to teach a makeup lesson for your six-year-old student, who at the end of the lesson will decide that she loves you so much you cannot leave and will try to physically block your way out the door."
     "In other news in the past few weeks, many English teachers have been suffering from a lack of motivation coming off of the holiday; psychologists contend that the heavy snow, intense cold, and lack of sunlight may play some part in that problem. In an interview, one teacher expressed the opinion of many when she said, 'It's just unnatural to go to work when it's dark outside. When it's dark people should be sleeping. We should only work when it's daylight.' However popular this viewpoint might be amongst the English-teaching population, economists say that such a movement, were it to extend throughout Moscow, could have an extremely negative effect on the economy, especially considering that "daylight" in the middle of winter doesn't begin until around 11:00 and only lasts three to four hours."
     "And now to our correspondent in flat no. 409, with an update on the latest affairs of the three English teachers whom we've been following for the past few months. But first, a brief commercial break."
     *Commercial Break*
HELLO FOLKS! Do you ever worry about the chill of the Moscow winter? Do you ever wonder if maybe temperatures really will drop to -30 Celsius like everyone says they will? Do you ever doubt your own ability to cope with the cold? Well, we here at CoatzGalore have the solution! The all-new Closet Coat! This remarkable coat will keep you warm in the depths of winter...without you even having to wear it! The latest research by psychologists has shown that being "cold" is practically all mentality! With our Closet Coat, you can dress to impress without having to muffle it all up under heavy wraps by simply fixing your mentality. Here's how it works: First you install the trusty Closet Coat in your closet. Then, whenever you go outside, you dress in a lighter coat, something like our "Fall Wool" style, but you think about the heavy Closet Coat that is sitting back home. Whenever you start to feel "cold," just think how warm you will be later on in winter, when the temperatures are colder and you can start wearing your Closet Coat! The longer you can wait, the warmer you will be! Make "cold" a thing of the past! Buy a Closet Coat today!!!"
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: TESTS ON ENGLISH TEACHERS HAVE SHOWN THAT THE CLOSET COAT IS ONLY EFFECTIVE WHEN ACTUALLY WORN. TRYING TO WEAR A FALL COAT IN SUB-ZERO TEMPERATURES CAN BE HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH, EVEN IF YOU ARE TRYING TO SAVE YOUR HEAVIER COAT FOR COLDER WEATHER. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. JUST WEAR YOUR HEAVY COAT. DON'T BE STUPID.
Welcome back to TMM Moscow, all news, all the time! Patricia, over to you."
    "Thanks, Bob. Well here I am, standing in the kitchen of flat 409, and well, I can't say it smells that great in here. In fact, I think something might be burning...ah, yes! It appears that someone put a sponge in the microwave in an attempt to kill the bacteria. She must have learned that trick from her dad back home. But, dear me! Was there really a need to put it in for four minutes?!? I think not. It's quite an original-looking sponge now, though, especially with that scorch mark in the middle." 
     "Well, I'll just leave the window open for a bit to let the smell out, and let's continue on to one of the other rooms, shall we?"
     "Ah, yes, and here's the room of our young teacher Hannah. She's out at the moment at the school, or perhaps looking for her frozen nose where it chipped off in the park, so we can speak with indiscretion. Hmm, Bob, have we heard anything interesting about Hannah lately?"
    "Let me check the files, Patricia...well, last time we reported on her trip to the Kremlin with her young neighbor, let's see, since then... well, she took a trip to the Novodevichy Convent with her colleague and friend Teya."
     "Oh, yes, that's right! Now, for our listeners, the Novodevichy Convent is a World Heritage site. Founded in the early 1500s, it has sheltered famous members of the Russian royal family such as Irina Godunova and Sophia Alekseyevna. It is still a working convent today, though at the moment the largest church is closed for renovation. One of the buildings has been turned into a museum of church history, which consists entirely of small pictures of churches in various stages of renovation and a few explanatory paragraphs. If you pay 250 rubles, you can go and see this dazzling exhibit. Our uncultured teacher found it quite boring and regretted paying the money to get in, unfortunately.

 the bell tower

 approaching the outside walls

 the main entrance

 the largest church, closed for renovation

 not yet frozen, still able to stand still and take a picture

 a smaller church, very ornate inside but not in the style of most Orthodox churches; it had a very 18th or 19th century feel to the inside with a lot of heavy gilded frames and a square, open interior hall without standing pillars and without painted walls
 except near the altar
 looking back towards the entrance


 a church erected over one of the entrances - also currently closed for renovation


walking (the long way around) the outer walls to get to the cemetery - it used to be a fortified convent
     Attached to the convent is a large state cemetery, where many famous personages of the Soviet Union are buried, including Galina Ulanova, Natalya Bessmertnova, and Igor Moiseyev, as well as Chekhov, Mayakovsky, Shostakovich, and Prokofiev. Unfortunately, our intrepid teachers only managed to find some of these graves, because Hannah had not dressed warmly enough and after three hours of walking around  in the sub-zero temperatures was so cold that she could not speak properly."
 Galina Ulanova
 Igor Moiseyev
 Chekhov
        Natalya Bessmertovna

     Undiscouraged, she ventured out alone several days later to Victory Park. The effect of the soaring central obelisk and grand granite walkway was somewhat marred by the fact that large, colorful stages were being erected for the celebration of the Orthodox Christmas on January 6th. However, despite the drizzle and the distractions, our teacher got in a good wander, and was particularly impressed and moved by the monument out behind the main building, "The Tragedy of the Peoples."
 Triumphal Arch outside Victory Park

 the entrance to Victory Park (commemorating World War II)

 apparently there are fountains in summertime

 statue of Nike at the top of the obelisk, which is ten cm tall for every day of the war (141.8 meters)

 St. George slaying the Nazi dragon at the base of the obelisk

 the church in the park

 the eternal flame


 hangar with WWII-era planes

 memorial synagogue

 part of the "Tragedy of the Peoples" Holocaust monument



 "Let the memory of them be held sacred throughout the centuries"

 another view of the church

 looking back down the walk
 the biggest Christmas tree yet

     The next day she went out gallivanting with the neighbors in their car. This was a novel experience for our young teacher, who hadn't driven through the centre of Moscow yet. The outing itself was a bit of a failure, because there was such a mist over the city that the view from the highest hill in Moscow - the destination of the venture - was not much of a view. I must admit, it was very amusing to watch Rinad (Lilya and Timour's father) trying to educate all and sundry about the history of Stalin's seven sister skyscrapers while Hannah listened politely and shivered and Lilya and Timour didn't listen and instead got into a contest to see who could blow their breath (visible in the cold air) into the other's face. The dinner afterwards was a great deal more enjoyable. Our teacher was feasted by the neighbors, and she bravely tried her first taste of холодец (holodyets), a gelled meat, which wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Now, however, she is in a bit of a quandary as to how to repay a hospitality so generous that she stayed over at the flat next door for four hours!
    "Who are you?"
    "Oh, uh, hello, Hannah, I'm Patricia. I'm the correspondent for TMM Moscow, and -"
     "What are you doing in my room?"
     "Umm, well Bob, I think that's all the time we have for today, on Flat 409! This is Patricia, TMM Moscow, signing out!"
*Commercial Break*
     "Do you ever feel stifled by the Moscow city atmosphere? Do you ever wish you could escape the tower block surroundings in which you live? Then you need to make the trip to the Mitino Landscape Park! Here, we have all the joys of the wilderness* within convenient reach of home. Rediscover your primal self in this untamed* wilderness. Imitate the divine by walking on water*. View the beasts of the wild at play in their natural environment! Drink in the sparkling cold air and feel the sun* on your face! Special offer for large families and the elderly! Don't hesitate! Visit the Mitino Landscape Park today!
    * "wilderness is open to interpretation and is here interpreted as being limited to the following: 'mice, rats, dogs, cats, skiers, ducks, finches, crows, and the occasional naked man coming out of his homemade banya. 
     *  Some dogs are not tame. Mitino Landscape Park is not responsible for any injury mental or physical occasioned by contact with these dogs. 
     * Walking on water is possible only in winter when the pond is frozen. Thank you for your understanding in this matter. In summer walking on water is forbidden, as is swimming in imaginary water (see "Stating the Obvious").
     *   "Sun" is open to interpretation and may also be defined as "clouds".
 the brief appearance of the sun - it looks like morning but it's 1:00 p.m.

 birches on the edge of the pond

 Ok, who wants to jump off the pier into the water?

 looking out across the pond

 signs of "wildlife"

 the clouds are moving in





    Welcome back! You're listening to TTM Moscow, all news, all the time. Well, at least most of the time. Theoretically, once a week...or once every two or three weeks... Anyways, let's hear the news from the home front! Sally and Jim- over to you!
    " Thanks, Bob. Well, in current NC news Dad A. is still out of a job, to the surprise and consternation of all and sundry, though he is following several promising leads."
    "Genius is never recognized in its own time, is it, Sally?"
    "Have to agree with you there, Jim. Mom A.'s health has improved since last month, and she has been spotted at the ballet school recently with her young daughter, the promising ballerina S.A.. E.A. has seen the arrival of an impressive new bike, and he has promised not to fall over the front of the handlebars and break his shoulder and give everyone else in the family a heart attack like he did with his last bike. S.A. is exploring the capabilities of some technological gadget that at the moment I can't remember the name of, G.A. and W.A. are showing their academic brilliance as usual, and O.A. and D.A. are asleep. All is as it should be, if Dad A. could just find a job. That is sure to happen soon."
    "And, Sally, don't forget the great performance of Alice in Wonderland that took place at Meredith College this week."
     "Of course! Well, unfortunately this event was closed to the press, but by all accounts it was incredible as usual. Alice in particular was impressively played, along with all the other parts played by members of the English department. No, we're not at all biased here on TMM Moscow."
    "And in an interesting case of parallelism, this very week our teacher here in Moscow saw the arrival of a new student, a small, bright young girl with blonde hair and blue eyes named Alice."
     "You're joking!"
     "No, I'm quite serious! Well, I think that just about wraps it up for N.C. news."
    "Jim, you're right. Back to you, Bob."
    "Aaaand that looks like all we have time for today on TMM Moscow! Have a great week, folks, and be sure to tune in next week for updates on dancing, buying Bolshoi tickets, learning Russian, and all the other trials, travails, and triumphs taking place here in the capital city.
This is TMM Moscow, and your host Bob, signing off."